I am so angry

I don't think I ever asked for too much. I want to be able to fill my dream and become a psychologist TO HELP PEOPLE, which I strongly believe is God's calling for my life. I want to be able to sleep. And I want to be able to workout. And if I got all of that and there was still room for Steph to have more of what she wants, I would want a condo. To me it is more important that I can sleep then getting a condo of my dreams. I havent been able to get real sleep for 9 months. Everyone always told me it would get better...that once I got rid of my anxiety I would be fine. Because of this lack of sleep I am not even the same person. I am very impuslive, and I have days off and on that I am very depressed. The depression is not the result of my cognitive thoughts of, "I can't sleep so life sucks," because that is not the way I am thinking. I really think the depression is the result of not getting enough sleep because everything else in my life is good. I am an optimistic person...I get depressed but always am able to snap out of it and believe that things will get better...but seriously its been 9 months and Rosemead makes it worse by making me have 8:00 classes on Tuesday, Thursday. I really believe I wont get good sleep until we have our own place. My anxiety is gone. I don't have anxiety at all anymore. I skip that part and just go right into the depression. The hotel and this apartment is loud. Why is this apartment so loud? They had to have made this place the cheapest they possibly could. And why wouldn't they? Why wouldn't they want to save on money? I am guessing all apartments have done the same thing...so where am I supposed to go? I have tried desperately to find a condo for 6 months. It is like my part time job that I don't have time to have. Rosemead is like working 60 hr weeks without getting paid for it. And then on top of it I should have a part time job that I earn enough money to live (but I don't) and then I have a part time job of finding a condo which is imppossible. I am sick of being optimistic and getting my hopes up. The number of condo's we have seen is ridiculous. The number of papers we have signed is ridiciolous. The number of times we have wanted to submit an offer but been told we can't because of our specific loan is ridiculous. The amount of time I have spent driving to look at condos and apartments (so I could finally get out of a hotel and hopefully get sleep) is RIDICULOUS. And I just want to know when this is all going to pay off. I am here to help people and it all seems to be going against me. I have never felt better than being there for someone and talking them through their problems and God has given me a passion for health, For the wholeness of a person. I want to have a psychology practice that looks at the health of every client: physical (nutrition, exercise, sleep), spiritual, and emotional. Isn't it interesting how all of those aspects fit into someone's emotional well being but how so many therapists really do not seem to hit on any of those areas except emotions? I have always strived to be the best person I can be, and that is my life goal. I want to help others become the best they can be. I want to help others realize what they want out of life and help them get there. My practice will have therapists who find natural solutions for problems instead of prescribing medications. After much research and trying different supplements, more of certain vitamins (not in the form of chemicals) if the therapist can not find a natural solution only then would they give the OPTION for the client to have a medication because medications always do cause side effects. (Of course there are some exceptions such as schizophrenia where in order to even do therapy the person would have to be on medication). And this is what I want to do with my life. I believe that God put inside of me the passion of health for a reason, and that reason is to help people. God has this passion as well. God cares about the WHOLE person. I just don't know how to fulfill my dreams anymore. I can keep staying here if I can't sleep. A part of my wonders if I should drop out of school, get a full-time job in minnesota so I can have a place to live where I can finally sleep because I feel like I am being kicked while I am down. There are a few things that keep me here though: 1) How can I let my lifelong dream and calling from God go down the drain? Will I ever be as happy as I could be with not fullfilling my potential, my calling? 2) Rosemead is the school I never though existed. It is the perfect fit for me. They have extremely high standards, every student who goes through the program is ready to work anywhere, and they have the correct doctrinal beliefs. 3) The weather. How can I possibly go back to the cold? The weather is just so miserable in MN. The weather here is perfect for me...whenever the natives of California are cold, so am I. But if I dropped out I could get a full time job and we could get a house....although we could probably only afford a house in the middle of nowhere...which is not for me either. Idk what to do...but for now I just got to find another place to live besides this apartment...great...lets move all of our junk again. I am ready to throw most of our stuff so we don't have to keep moving it. We don't need most of it anyway.